Have you ever thought that if you had more time for yourself, you’d be able to lose weight?
If you’ve been struggling with your weight for a long time, you probably think the reason you find it hard is because you just don’t have time to focus on it.
However, the real reason you have a weight problem has nothing to do with time. It’s because you have a time management problem because you struggle to put yourself first.
What happens when you don’t put yourself first?
Not prioritising yourself means you won’t be consistent with your workouts, you won’t get enough rest and sleep, and you won’t prioritise healthy eating or weekly meal prep — just some of the things that will help you lose weight and keep it off.
Putting your needs at the bottom of the list also means you’ll experience high levels of stress which is a metabolic blocker that will only make it harder to lose weight. Stress will also increase the likelihood of you self-sabotaging your weight loss through emotional eating and binge eating, and soothing your stress with alcohol.
The real reason you don’t put yourself first.
If we asked you why you don’t prioritise yourself, you’d probably say you don’t have time, feel it’s selfish, or because you feel guilty for putting your needs above everyone else’s. While this may be true to some extent, the real reason you struggle to put yourself is a lot deeper than that.
To show you what we mean, we’re going to look at a common problem that we see all the time.
When people come to us for help, one of the first things they say they need help with is food.
Now, if they said this to a PT, they’d be given a meal plan, asked to be accountable for what they eat by recording it, and be expected to use willpower to stick to the plan. In other words, the PTs would get them to focus on food itself, rather than the reason they struggle with food.
The difference between most PTs and us, is that we always address the reasons why people struggle with things and this always comes back to habits. If we take the example of food, this is how we determine the real problem that needs solving:
Imani: What do you need the most help with?
Client: Food.
Imani: Why do you need help with food?
Client: I can’t seem to consistently eat well despite my best intentions.
Imani: Why do you struggle to eat well?
Client: Because I don’t have time to eat properly or prepare healthy food. I’m too busy with other things.
Imani: Why are you too busy to prepare healthy food?
Client: Because I struggle to put myself first.
Imani: Why do you struggle to put yourself first?
Client: Because I struggle to say ‘no’.
Imani: Why do you struggle to say ‘no’?
Client: Because I’m a people pleaser.
Imani: Why are you a people pleaser?
Client: Because I’m scared of abandonment and rejection.
Imani: Why are you scared of abandonment and rejection?
Client: Because my self-worth relies on it. (I’m protecting myself)
Imani: Why does your self-worth rely on it?
Client: Because I lack self-worth
You see, the reason people struggle with food is because they don’t put themselves first, and the reason they can’t put themselves first is because they lack self-worth. It’s got nothing to do with food. (You can read more about low self-worth in our blog How low self-worth affects your weight.)
If we asked the same questions about why they can’t be consistent with exercise, or why they don’t get enough rest or sleep, the answers would be the same.
They have trouble because they can’t put themselves first — because they lack self-worth.
This is why focusing on the what (food, exercise, sleep, etc.) doesn’t work. You need to focus on why you struggle with these things. We explain this in more detail in our blog The solution to your bodyweight problem is not in addressing what you do, but why you do it.
Focusing on eating better or exercising more will not help you lose weight like you think it might. The secret is found in addressing why you struggle with these things, which is what we refer to as a weight-loss blind spot. Most of the time, you struggle because you can’t put yourself first.
In order to be able to put yourself first so you can lose weight for good, you need to increase your self-worth.
How to put yourself first
As you’ve seen, you struggle to put yourself first because you lack self-worth. Low self-worth is why you spend your time doing things for other people (people-pleasing), and why you don’t put yourself first, and therefore have time for yourself.
The only way to learn to put yourself first is to build self-worth. We explain how to do this in our blog How to build your self-worth so you can lose weight for good.
How DATSTM Program helps
The DATSTM Personal Coaching Program will help you build your self-worth and teach you how to put yourself first. When you learn to put yourself first, you’ll no longer engage in self-sabotaging behaviours that derail your weight loss and you’ll be able to have the body, confidence, and lifestyle you want.
DATSTM will give you the knowledge, systems, tools, and skills so you can lose weight and keep it off — even on your worst days.
In summary…
- People who struggle with their weight have trouble being consistent.
- Most people try to focus on improving the thing they struggle with (e.g. food) instead of addressing why they struggle with it.
- The reason they struggle is because they can’t put themselves first.
- The reason they can’t put themselves first is because they lack self-worth.
- You need to address your self-worth so you can learn to put yourself first.
- When you learn to put yourself first, weight loss will be easier.
- Our DATSTM Personal Coaching Program will help you build your self-worth, so you can learn to put yourself first, so you can lose weight for good.
- Our DATSTM Program gives you the knowledge, systems, tools and skills to help you lose weight and keep it off, even on your worst days.
