“Why can’t I lose weight?”
It’s a question we’ve heard thousands of times.
Many people don’t understand why they struggle to lose the weight when they follow the advice of the diet and weight loss industry diligently. Other people also eat well and exercise regularly but still struggle to lose weight.
Our purpose in writing this blog is to shed a light and help people discover the missing link so they can finally lose the weight for good and have the body, confidence and lifestyle they desire.
After working with thousands of long-term clients (i.e. an average of four years) we have discovered that everyone who struggles with weight loss has one thing in common, and unless this is addressed, weight loss will always be impossible.
Before we let you in on our weight loss hypothesis, let’s take a brief look at the approach most people take to lose weight and why it doesn’t work.
What the diet and weight loss industry tells you to do
It’s common knowledge that the diet and weight loss industry recommend people create a calorie deficit to lose weight. Therefore, what most people do is focus on their food and exercise by restricting food, and/or increasing exercise to burn calories. This is why people turn to diets, fasts, juice cleanses and detoxes, or even follow diet meal plans, or try to get 10,000 steps in their day — they are all designed to create a calorie deficit.
Unfortunately, this approach never works for long-term weight loss and only leads to weight gain. We explain why in our blog Why calorie deficit leads to weight gain.
However, the real reason the diet and weight loss industry’s ‘weight loss solutions’ don’t work is that they fail to address the real reason people struggle with their weight.
Why people really struggle to lose weight
The majority of people who struggle with their weight believe they have a weight problem. But this isn’t true. What they have are personal problems (habits, mindsets, identities, beliefs and fears) that show up as excess weight. And it’s these things that need to be addressed to achieve long-term weight loss, not food and exercise.
Focusing on nutrition and fitness to lose weight without addressing the habits and mindsets that led to the weight gain is just like refilling a flat tyre with air over and over without sealing the puncture and addressing what caused it — a waste of time.
The reason diets don’t work for long-term weight loss is that they focus on changing behaviours when the real issues we need to address are our habits. You can find out more about this in our blog Habits versus behaviour: Know the difference.
You can also read more about why diets don’t work in our blog The truth the diet and weight loss industry is hiding from you.
The truth is, real weight loss is only possible by addressing habits and mindsets. When we do this, weight loss takes care of itself.
Habits that prevent weight loss
Some of the most common habits that cause people to struggle with weight loss include:
- Comparing ourselves with others
- People pleasing
- Struggling to put ourselves first
- Caring what others think of us
- Low self-confidence
- Identities and beliefs
- Not being our authentic self
- Trying to control everything
- Imposter syndrome
To read more about these, simply click the links above.
The ONE THING that is at the heart of all weight loss struggles
Most people can relate to more than one of the above habits. Some people may be able to relate to all of them! If this is the case, it may feel very overwhelming to try to change all of these habits.
However, we’re going to let you in on a secret.
All of the habits that lead to weight gain and cause people to struggle with their weight stem from one keystone habit. The good news is that when you address this keystone habit, it’s easier to address all the habits that stem from it. We explain keystone habits in our blog What’s a keystone habit and why do you have to focus on it to get results?
To fully explain how the above habits stem from one keystone habit, we’re going to break it down for you.
The simple fact is that most people are overweight because they don’t eat well or exercise.
Why don’t they eat well or exercise?
Because they don’t have time.
Why don’t they have time?
Because they’re too busy.
Why are they too busy?
Because they don’t prioritise themselves and put themselves first.
Why don’t they prioritise themselves and put themselves first?
Because they struggle to say ‘no’ to other people.
Why do they struggle to say ‘no’?
Because they are people pleasers.
Why are they people pleasers?
Because they’re scared of offending people.
Why are they scared of offending others?
Because they are scared of rejection.
Why are they scared of rejection?
Because they are afraid of being abandoned.
Why are they afraid of abandonment?
Because it’s a self-protection mechanism.
Why is it a self-protection mechanism?
Because their self-worth relies on people’s approval.
Why does their self-worth rely on other people’s approval?
Because they lack self-worth.
Can you see that the real reason people struggle to put themselves first (and therefore make time for meal prep, eating well and regular exercise) is because they lack self-worth?
Lack of self-worth is also the reason why people:
- make time for everything and everyone else but themselves
- don’t prioritise meal prep
- don’t spend time cooking healthy food
- don’t prioritise exercise
- don’t prioritise sleep and rest
- choose cheap quick-fixes and fad diets
- settle for toxic relationships
- undercharge in business
- try to fit in
- put a timeline on their weight loss
- resent other people
- choose cheap, junk food
- don’t invest in themselves
- sabotage their own weight loss
- struggle to lose the weight
Over the past two decades, and after working with thousands of clients, we haven’t come across anyone who has struggled with their weight long-term, who doesn’t suffer from a lack of self-worth.
Our weight loss hypothesis is that everyone who struggles with weight loss (except perhaps those who have medical conditions) suffer from a lack of self-worth, and it’s this lack of self-worth that leads to weight gain, and weight loss self-sabotage.
From working with people long-term and collecting consistent data, we are certain that lack of self-worth is at the heart of people’s weight loss struggles. Show us anyone who struggles with weight loss who doesn’t suffer from low self-worth and we will eat our words and delete this blog.
You can read more about how lack of self-worth impacts you in our blog How low self-worth affects your weight.
Build your self-worth to lose the weight
Many people believe that they will feel worthy when they lose the weight. But the truth is, to lose the weight and have the body, confidence and lifestyle we desire, we need to build our self-worth first.
When we feel worthy, we will stop engaging in the habits that lead to weight gain and weight loss self-sabotage and weight loss will take care of itself.
You can read more about self-worth and how to build it in our blog How to build your self-worth so you can lose weight for good.
How we help
At Imani Transformations, we cut through all the confusion and help you identify the key steps you need to take to build your self-worth, so you can have the body, confidence and lifestyle you desire. Our DATSTM Personal Coaching Program is a complete all-in-one habit, mindset and holistic weight loss personal coaching program that gives you everything you need (knowledge, systems, tools, skills, structure, accountability and support) to help you build your self-worth so you can finally lose the weight for good.